ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
