xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I need a beard to bite.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
