Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
