i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
