Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
