Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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