It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
