haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dicks are not precious.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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