We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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