The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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