I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This toilet bowl is my home.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
