I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
