i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
