I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
