bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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