My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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