Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
why do cheetos always look like penises
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
