Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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