He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
