Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
