I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And then my night got REAL pukey
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
