So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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