I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
