yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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