btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
