Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
