A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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