all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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