All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
