Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
