if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
