i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
