Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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