whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize