Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
