I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just high enough for therapy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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