Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
