I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
