just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
