let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
