I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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