Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
