You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh god the rape fog is back!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
