I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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