So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
