have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
