Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
