if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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