She went from zero to smokin in five shots
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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