you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
