every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
